Ask for sex toys...they’ll undoubtedly come in much more handy if you’re marrying somebody with a bunch of “eek, let’s do it” types in the family.

For my money, most wedding dresses look like they are made out of toilet paper.

I suspect that the embarrassment only became discernible when the grandmother shoved the stripper’s cock so far down her throat that she practically choked. No woman wants to be seen choking on a cock.

Particularly if it is a life-size penis straw.

Yes, but usually you get shitfaced with a bunch of other women in your age group and by the end of the night you know...for most of the other women...if the carpet matches the drapes.

Your username gives you away. If you know what a cameltoe is, I’m gonna bet that you’ve done some serious carpet munching in your life...Brit or not.

I’ve never been to a bridal shower or a bachelorette party...but my sister has, and she told me a story tat creeped me out for years! My sister went to this party (not sure whether it was bridal shower or bachelorette party). It was held at the maid-of-honor to be’s home and apparently, half-way through the night,…

Barron...well that kid is on the spectrum, heading towards a life of being perhaps the richest fucking nimrod who ever lived.

It was a gold dildo...with a mushroom head.  Trust the Trumps to be that tacky.

I ran into Dustin Hoffman when he was running for a limo in NYC (more accurately he ran into me because I was not paying attention). He fell down, picked himself up and I said to my self “holy jesus h. christ! This guy is a fucking midget”. He got into his limo and it sped away. No words were exchanged.

Justin Trudeau has to get some fucking stones. Canada and current dau Canadians cannot be constantly apologizing for things done by former generations...the St Louis refusal, the Chinese fucking head tax, anything done before 1867 to indigenous people etc.  Let it go Justin, you can still have milk and cookies in bed…

You understand that the phrase “hop in, I’ll drive you” is purposefully ambiguous! It’s very similar to the old gay bar pick-up line “bend over, I’ll drive”. What it means...and anybody with even half a brain should already know this...is that the guy uttering the phrase wants to sink his dick, balls deep, in whatever…

C’mon. We all know that that attraction to being a Uber driver is so you can fuck passengers, both literally and for extra fare!

One thing you have to remember Uber driver does not equal good man

Why is this anything worth writing about? The whole idea of being a male Uber driver is so you can dick some unsuspecting female passengers...and then charge them $1,800 for the pleasure.

He is a fucking box of hammers.

Who the fuck...other than the absurdly rich or privileged...has a polo accident?

Fuck William and Kate...they’re a couple of moronic pieces of shit.  Skip right to George.

Nah...he really did want to be a tampon. He’s showed that many times in real life.  Remember...he used the phrase “In want to be white, in tight, and outta sight”.  Ergo, a tampon.

Well. I’m pretty sure that I don’t want Charles as king. Who would want a guy who once wished be could be a tampon so he could be as close to his favorite girl as possible lording it over him. On the other hand I definitely want either of William or Harry in that role either. They both eat dicks as far as I am…