Oh Mazzie...I’m gonna bet that if you wear that Kate Spade dress for me, I’m going to masturbate all over it and then spend a long, long time licking you up and down. Don’t worry, we’ll clean the dress properly before we return it.  

Only if you have to clean them with your tongue! Otherwise, a high- pressure hose, some strong bleach cleaner, some rubber gloves and a scrub brush should make it no worse than any other cleaning job.

Good limerick...to bad you got it wrong!

A nice young man from Abilene

It has long been known that there is no cure for ‘dumb’.

What’s worse is that he was probably cumming in his pants when he said it!

I think the only good answer is for you to visit your folks, and bring up some topic that will vex them. When they start acting like the assholes you describe, take a whiskey bottle, break the neck off, and then slash the shit out of both of them (particularly around the face) until they start screaming that they…

The dancing guy looks like a fucking queer! Who in hell would dance with a turd burglar like that?

My secret was that I learned how to drink out of assholes...but only girls’ assholes!

Yeah...I had one of those. I was out with 4 girls for a few drinks. A guy, who was in the bar with 3 -4 of his friends, started hustling the girls, making lewd remarks and generally being a prick. I think he was emboldened by one of the girls who kept saying “no” to him, but while she was saying “no”, she kept smiling…

And it doesn’t look like any of you fuckers are fed up enough to do anything about it. You made your bed so lie in it...but leave the rest of the world alone.

It would definitely count And while we’re at it why don’t we find a way to expose his supporters as the fucking chunks of shit that they truly are, and then fling that in their faces. On an individual basis all proper-thinking people in the U.S. have to publicly call out Trump supporters...in the workplace, at the…

Looks like the media who attend Trump press conference have to get some kind of backbone. Just get the fuck up and walk out! Leave the incredible fucking baboon foaming at the mouth and gesticulating into thin air! And while you’re all walking, each and every one of you should turn slightly and fart in Trump’s…

I’d prefer that it was “Mike Hunt”.

Not fucking likely!

This investigation is a fucking joke! Limited in both time and scope it will be a meaningless exercise...completed just so the GOP can say that it met the required standards for looking into the matter. Fucking GOP!! Fucking Trump!!

Who in hell would stick his dick in Kellyanne Conjob. I’d rather shove it in a tub of iodine filled with razor blades!

Unfortunately, Kellyanne Conjob has found the Acchilles’ heel of TV interviewers. It is Jake Tapper. She fucking owns him 100% every time she talks to him...simply by observing the GOP methodology...lie, obfuscate and ‘talk over’ every point being made by the interviewer. Jake Tapper is a very skilled interviewer but…

Because he ultimately wants to be President, so he has to keep his GOP allegiances in place as much as possible. Basically, he’s a giant turd sandwich.

He is typical of almost all of the GOP representatives...he acts like a tough, independent kind of guy, but when it matters he votes party line. He’s like a cheap John McCain! He’s just another GOP piece of shit.