Mine does....but the only way I’m getting out close to 5 is if the building is on fire

“That said, there’s also some bad news out there about how a 9-to-5 job might treat you, Tyler.”

#WelcomeBackBaseball (Mariners) is a little more clever than it seems: it’s almost certainly a riff on “Goodbye baseball!” the signature home run call of their (other) longtime announcer, Rick Rizzs.

I was just looking at the Giants’ 25-man roster, and... damn, even by baseball standards, that team is hella white.

Deadspin’s continued hate for Sam Hinkie is one of the weirdest things. I’m a Bulls fan and I would trade the Bulls roster for the Hinkie-built Sixers one in a heartbeat. I think most other fans of mediocre-to-bad teams would say the same.

Bold move to continue to shit on Hinkie after how well the “Robert Covington was signed to help Sixers lose” take has aged.

Love how you guys act like The Process didn’t pay off. Saric is really damn good. With the exception of some injuries Embiid has the potential to rock the league. Next year they add Ben Simmons and they have that great draft swap with Sacramento. Yeah it hurt, but trust the process.

Sadly, we’re being trolled by one of our own. The guy running the account is an alum.

and how the FUCK did he get a new job? Who hires that asshole after what he did?

Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t Steve Kerr hired directly from a broadcasting gig with no coaching experience? By no means do I think Gottlieb is a good idea, but it may have something to do with the thought process in Stillwater.

Not the first manager to flaunt his culinary ingenuity...

You need to do better than that if you’re going to write an entire post on this. I’ll take any reason I can get to be appalled by Simmons, but I’m not seeing it here.

It is quite the obsession. Also, Simmons was a bigger name than Jonah Keri before Grantland, and continues to be, and the notion that Keri therefore did more for Grantland than vice-versa (I had never heard of him) is pretty laughable. I mean, I wouldn’t pick a fight over it, but there is the statement, the kind of…

Jezus wat een domme kutkneus.

It’s funny how Deadspin has “Netherlands Baseball Player” in the headline to refer to Profar who has played for the Rangers for a while and once was a huge prospect.

You are aware that a normal game in this stadium would be in the first inning right now, yes? You grasp the concept of time zones?

Yeah, but NHL players are only on the ice for less than half of each game. /s

Yes, on the whole, probably most sports fans are entitled shitheads; yes, in general, discussion of what NBA teams and players owe or do not owe to their paying customers carries all kinds of extremely fraught and ugly baggage, and being on the side of what works for the former probably is the safer place to be.

Nobody is saying this. Burneko is just a weak and lazy writer.

Also, according to a surprising number of Deadspin commenters, all the #1 seeds are supposed to be choppered into the Final Four untouched like Trump Jr’s boots.