Y’all forgot cyanide... It’s in most “seeds” like apples, cherry/peach pits, and avocados.

The piece of shit fucking laughed. She laughed. She giggled while filming the ordeal, because she’s human garbage. She is guilty as hell and I hope to god she gets punished for it. Disgusting.

A friend’s wife recently said that she was going to get some face cream that was chemical free.

I asked what she thought that meant.

She replied that she wanted it to be made with stuff that she can pronounce.

I asked her if she’s ever seen the ingredient list for a blueberry.

That guy is right next to my 100% natural organic cocaine stand!

I only use 100% organic poison ivy, I get it at the local farmers’ market.

And Arsenic, Lead, Carbon Dioxide, Fire, Floods, Earthquakes, ... etc... all are natural.

And ebola, and HIV and for that matter, every bacterial and viral agent.

Botulinum is also very, very natural. And just about the most toxic substance known on the planet.

You know what else is 100% natural?

Women drinking alcohol?!? Someone alert John Kasich!

I try not to generally, too old

This season had a lot of moments where it felt like Tina Fey was just going “EFF YOU HATERS” to any of the criticism she’d received about the first season, especially regarding the Native American stuff.

I just finished binge-watching the whole season today, and while overall I loved it, the Geisha episode sat very poorly with me. I felt like they fell into all the traps they were trying to commentate on and were super condescending to all the valid complaints people had about casual racism in the first season...

Whether or not they had an established friendship, I can’t imagine this girl not helping the victim. I’d help someone I just met five minutes ago. I’d help a woman I passed on the street and didn’t even make eye contact with, for Christ’s sake.

Ohio teenager Marina Lonina, 18, faces a litany of charges after Franklin County prosecutors alleged that she streamed the rape of a 17-year-old friend on Periscope.

Cholula? How bougey.

This is formal request to refer to it as the Dearp video from now until forever.

Pro-tip: don’t register as an Independent. Undeclared is functionally the same thing, and you don’t have to worry about accidentally becoming a member of the Independent Party.

if I was an actress I wouldn’t even want people knowing that I was registered to vote.... that would mean being over 18 and thus one foot into the grave