I really hope this entire article is sarcasm.....

Gamestop employee here. Legit had a dad trading in his two son’s switches for the fortnite ones. Tried to talk him out of it, but he said it was worth paying a hundred bucks each for the exclusive skins. I'm still confused.

I decided to go check what their color options were and it reminded me of something I really hate with modern vehicles.

340 is enough, you’re driving it wrong.

Ah yes 50:50 perfect balance

You mean the ads that pay your salary as a “writer?” (At least until the ‘Nik goes belly up.) Geez, even by GMG standards you’re a bloody idiot. And don’t break a sweat using proper punctuation or capitalization, “writer.”

A police officer was quoted by an actual professional reporter and writer as saying the “Mustang broke an axle or somehow wrecked” or something along those lines. But you wouldn’t know about that, since being snarky is a much higher priority than useful or informed reporting ‘round these parts. 

Dafuq is this?

“...quickly prompting the ire of many of the Bay Area’s more uptight citizens, who were all presumably pissed they’d be late to their Burning Man-recreation songversations or whatever it is anybody does in SF anymore.”

Come on guys, aren’t your expectations a little high for a $45k car?

“Well, I put this chin spoiler on it and got a piggyback tune from my cousin’s friend, so it’s basically an M3.”

This is a pretty stupid argument. This is how the M5 was and is created. It started out with a regular 5 series and got performance upgrades while not sacrificing on luxury. Same goes for AMG and every other carmaker offering performance trim on their large luxury sedans. Do you need it? No. Do you want it? I sure…

Agreed. That’s an expensive lesson to learn. 

Gap insurance next time?

Not excuses. 

Not hard at all as long as their hearts and minds are aligned. Source: all super robot anime ever created.

> 4-player co-op, each in control of a limb, hilarity and difficulty ensues

That happens all the time in League of Legends. They usaully bring ‘em back after a hotfix or proper patch.

Seriously, they’re almost as bad as those losers playing Overwatch and Fortnite when there are games that I personally, as the expert on video games, enjoy more and think they should all be playing.

Agreed. Just get a pre-purchase inspection done!