Scion was a Toyota brand, my dude. 

I had a serious moment of hell yeah when full Riker command voice was engaged for “SHIELDS UP!” First time hearing that in nearly twenty years.

I know EXACTLY what that is, but it looks horrifyingly like the Navy recruiting station I used to work at.

It’s called The West Wing, Season 6. “Bingo Bob” Russell and John Hoynes head to the convention as the top two candidates, with Matt Santos a close third. Hoynes re-proves himself to be a philandering shitbag, and Russell makes it very clear that he’s a Trump-level imbecile. Santos snakes it and ends up beating Arnold…

Damn. This is sincerely disappointing. I really enjoyed your knowledge of motorsports and car culture in general, to say nothing of the way you triggered neckbeard snowflakes simply by knowing FAR more about cars than they did.

My God. I can’t remember the last time I saw Strong Bad.

2nd:

You know, I rescinded my declaration that David needs an intervention after he got the Jeep Grand Unicorn back from Colorado. However, if he bought that rolling tetanus dispenser, it would be right into the straitjacket with him. 

That’s why you have to get one wrapped entirely in mother of pearl. 

Only if you have a Lamborghini Urus or something else similarly ostentatiously fancy. Fancy Kristen has standards, you know.

Fucking seriously. I mean, she probably has forgotten more about motorsports than most of the commentorati on Jalopnik will ever know, but let her utter the words “Chase” and “Elliott” in the same phrase (just as an example), and suddenly she’s the second coming of Satan.

This motherfucker murdered a kid - yes, Trayvon Martin was a GODDAMN KID - who was in his dad’s neighborhood and was armed with a can of Arizona Ice Tea, and he has the MOTHERFUCKING AUDACITY to get bitchy about Tweets mourning the kid’s death.

It astonishes me that NASCAR simply won’t take Newman seriously when he makes his points about superspeedways. The man has an engineering degree from Purdue, for God’s sake.

Obviously I know the answer is "no". Don't @ me haterz.

The real question that needs to be asked:

Damn right. 

What is this? Have you fallen and hit your head? Are you perhaps inebriated? What the hell are you doing here? A man was seriously injured tonight and for a moment thought to be much worse. This is neither the time nor the place to push an entirely unrelated and nebulous agenda. Grow up. 

Thank God.

I’m relieved to see there aren't a bunch of morons in here shitting on Denny Hamlin and Ryan Blaney. That wreck was terrible, and I pray to God Rocketman is okay, but it's also the kind of wreck that happens a lot at the end of superspeedway races. This one just went very bad very quickly, and there are some people…

Why on earth would you turn it into an Alfa if you were going to keep the Dodge V10? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I adore that insanely gigantic motor, but having it in an Alfa is like the proverbial bull in the china shop, no?