Wrong article, bro.

Here’s my good dog... I came home from work earlier this week to find he had tucked himself into bed.

He looks so incredibly bloated! What the hell happened to Captain Slow?!

I mean, fuck LaVar Ball, because he’s the worst, and until he learns to shut the hell up, he’s going to be an albatross around the neck of Lonzo’s career.

I want to know why such a beautiful car has a front end that looks like it came off of a Ford Fusion that took a frying pan to the face.

Are you familiar with a little Jalopnik feature known as “Nice Price or Crack Pipe”? Because this is CP CP CP CP CP CP CP CP CP CP all day long.

Well, there’s a ticket that any sane judge will toss about as fast as a Randy Johnson fastball flying toward a pigeon...

$10K seems a bit much, but it is a brown manual wagon, which means it is fated to be purchased by a Jalop.

1st/Neutral: I, for one, welcome our SUV overlords. Their dominance means that in three years, I’ll be able to go to a Kia dealership and purchase a gently used, criminally ignored Stinger GT for the price of a Nissan Versa and a six pack of Fat Tire.

Considering the Rock has more personality, charisma, and acting ability in his pinky finger than Tyrese has in his entire ridiculously large bald head-topped body, I’m gonna guess that Roman Pearce is going to join Brian O’Connor in “now only offscreen” land.

A J100 Land Cruiser for $5500? Glad I didn’t spend my $4800 on the Galant yesterday! Nicer than a George Springer home run. NP

Oh, and the France family needs to stop believing that their shit don’t stink.

Jesus freakin’ Christ. NASCAR has done some stupid shit this year (like encumbering Joey Logano’s Richmond win for a bullshit suspension issue), but they have now gone full potato.

Fuck Papa John and his pizza.

Look, I’m familiar with every element of every argument being made here. But please take note of the fact that my bad experience with a base model Galant made me dislike all Galants.

CP. It’s been nearly 14 years since I paid $1500 for a 1990 Galant in perfectly good condition with 85,000 miles on it. No, it wasn’t a VR4, but look, if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.

Interestingly, that is exactly the engine it had. It had some issues with fuel injectors when it was still practically new, but once the injectors got replaced, that engine was unkillable.

My immediate response upon seeing him in this role was, “And re-introducing Sean “Samwise Gamgee” Astin as the poor man’s Patton Oswalt!”

1994 Buick Century wagon that looked just like this one.

I hit a deer going 70 once, and I’m damn certain that the hood flipping up saved my ass.