He’ll be eating someones face on a causeway before we know it.

I mean MAYBE the bill numbers are flagged so you might want to not directly deposit that money into your bank account. I’d say keep the cash and sit on it till a busy shopping holiday and then spend it. It’ll be mixed in with millions of Black Friday dollars.

I don’t know. I’ve actually been behind a car that dropped a open duffel bag full of money on a windy day... Out a door inexplicably opened... At a stop light... and after they sped off and the rest of us woke up from “what the fuck just happened” (it was like 8 AM) everyone just hit their hazards and worked to pick…

If it walks like a duck....

He’s bluffing.

I dunno, I’m kind of tickled by how seriously he is taking this. He sounds like a paladin from a cliched D&D game.

He’s a cop, of course he sounds like a prick. That’s day one at the police academy. Acting and Sounding like a Prick 101.

And considering the manpower that would be needed to track down any of this would far exceed the cost of what was lost, maybe just file an insurance claim and be done with it. God, what an asshole.

To say nothing of everyone who comes across a bill blown overland.

Um I know right from wrong and I rightly would have had 200 20s stuffed in my bra pronto. And wrongly maybe a dozen in my buttcrack.

*SQUEEEEEEEEEE*

Howdy neighbor! My husband loves NextDoor He reads some of the complaints to me for a laugh, or cry depending. Welove the area but the house prices/rent prices are insane. I just found out that the new building on the corner of Crescent Heights and Wilshire will be renting 3 bedroom units for $16k month!

The minor difference is that Little Brownie cookies are delicious, and ABC cookies are just utter trash. (With the exception of the Tagalongs, those are still okay.)

The only redeeming part of this entire story is its proximity to Sprinkles.

I’m almost Team Barbie, except, These Heaux? Everyone knows it should be Theze Heaux. She’s dead to me now.

Potheads are tacky as fuck.

First of all, thank you to all the replies to this for sharing your stories now.

Sorry, dude, you can’t impress a Big Time Girl with money. She’s got her own. You need to PROVE your love ... like, I dunno, gun down some really high profile guy. How about you DM me for some plausibly-deniable suggestions? Glad to help.

My god, is Dolly Parton holding a BEDAZZLED SAXOPHONE?!? As if I couldn’t love her more than I already do!

It’s not like he woke up one morning and found out Mary Louise Parker was secretly a serial killer or a child trafficker. It’s not even like he realized he couldn’t stay in the relationship anymore and quietly exited it. He started banging Claire Danes.