This is terrible. Thanks a lot, Omaha.

A real Schiano man wouldn't overuse an expression.

I wouldn't have thought it possible for me to hate Peyton Manning or golfers more, but this has done it.

You know it's an impressive dunk when the defender blows up afterward.

He wouldn't even drive the bus. He'd have Jesus take the wheel.

I have my doubts. The bus would be parked 5 miles short of the closest stadium parking lot.

Deadspin Jeopardy

Only if he was driving their bus.

Suspension or no suspension, he doesn't seem to be missing any plate appearances.

Maybe if people had watched with Bright Eyes sooner, they would have seen it.

Those recordings are hard to analyze since the sound is so Faint.

I'm surprised it's taken this long to figure it out. We've got Tapes 'n Tapes of him saying it.

I'm looking back at this game 90 seconds after it ended and wondering how a team leading in turnovers 4-1 , time of possession 2:1, 3rd down efficiency and losing is possible.

The answer will somehow involve the Browns.

I'm pretty sure I would never say "It was my sperm" while hanging out in a hot tub.

I don't see any reason to drag the husband into all of this.

One of the wackiest field goals I've seen all year. How often do you see a kick hit the upright 9 times before bouncing out of play?

It kind of tickles me that they still think the SEC is such a big deal, when the Big XII teams they brought in have basically run roughshod over the conference.

the cars are DESIGNED to split in half around the passenger cabin during a crash like this.