That’s how I hear the song too. Jolene hasn’t done anything but come to town and the narrator knows her dickbag husband is going to go sniffing around over there. And she needs her husband to stay her husband b/c that’s all she has. She doesn’t have money or a career to support herself and her kids. So she just prays…

Is it? The narrator of that song does feel unreliable and sounds to me like she knows her man is actually terrible and likes Jolene without Jolene even having to try, Jolene just happens to be beautiful and effortless. The narrator’s desperation feels like she just doesn’t want to lose him because she can’t function…

To save somebody else the click: Apparently “secret wife” means he was married at 19 and divorced at 21 and doesn’t have this information, like, branded on his forehead for all to see.

Slightly fresher:

Stop explaining yourself, Bristol. We don’t care that you’re having another baby out of wedlock! Honest! You do you. I was more concerned with the fact that the birth announcement literally made it sound like you just found out you have terminal cancer.

Does this make him the father, though? I thought he wasn’t for some reason, which also confuses me on the “planned” front.

Palin recently broke off a two-month engagement with a guy named Dakota Meyer after tabloids reported that he had something called a “secret wife.

Jolene - great song. Have you heard the “slowed” version? Haunting.

I’m not the first one to come up with this theory BUT: there is a homoerotic subtext to Jolene. The singer never really mentions or describes the “man” in question and goes on and on about Jolene’s beauty and appeal. ;)

That is why I LOVE Jolene. That song touches on some real talk topics nobody ever addresses. Relationships happening and continuing for reasons other than true love 97% of the time.*

Eh, my boyfriend of four years is my ex-husband’s first wife’s brother. My step-daugher (I was in her life and one of her primary caregivers from before the age of two and she is eleven now) is fine and dandy with it. If I were to have a kid with her uncle she would likely call it her sister/brother cousin. Her mom…

That’s what we in the music biz call the ol’ switcheroo!

Ironically, Twain found love again with Swiss-born Nestlé exec Frédéric Thiébaud, Marie-Anne’s ex-husband.

What, you didn’t know about club puppies?

Y’know, Amy, you can express acceptance of your body without heaping shit on other women’s body types.

Yeah, I wouldn’t even wish that on CONRAD Hilton.

This isn’t funny at all. You don’t do this shit.

Unpopular opinion: I love Paris Hilton and she is living her best life. Girlfriend gets it and has been riding that train since the early 2000s.

Yeah...whatever your opinion of her...that shit isn’t funny.