Funny, but I always thought the Thing looked the way it did because it Was amphibious! Just saw one last week going South on I-39, driven by a young couple and towing a large U-haul trailer

This is the Torchest Torch post this week.

Reminder: the people who comment “who cares? why is this news?” are absolutely not emotionally indifferent to it.

Every time I see that damn dog-paddle gesture I know somebody is about to stall the car. Don’t start by trying to teach the end result, start by teaching what each pedal does and have them practice using them individually in neutral. Hold engine speed at different levels, practice range of motion on the clutch,…

2 minutes for ruffing

Everyone clicked on this because they thought they were gonna see a nip slip

Not since Sam Hurd has the world seen a Bear sling rock like this.

“Just needs some sick Koni coilovers, limited slip, AEM intake, enkeis, Falkens, ECU remap, injen FPR, a couple of K04 turbos and a boost gauge.”

You would think at this point Leafs’ fans would be tired of seeing somebody in a Maple Leafs jersey shit his pants.

Your story checks out

I shot snot out of my eyeballs laughing when he tried to blow it out! hahahaha

Deflated balls. Testicular fortitude. A network of dicks. Sensing a theme.

Lastpass

Does he know where his towel is?

Charles Dance will always be Numpsy to me.

Production version (after delays and cut-backs):

The more embarrassing it gets for the Pentagon and SS the longer the jail sentence that mailman is going to get. There might be no official crime of "exposing government and military incompetence" but it is the most fiercely prosecuted and punished one all the same. And that is bad. Not only did he stage an awesome…