I have stickers on all my devices, so I’m not sure why it reads like I’m mocking him. The brand of tape bit at the end of the piece? Well, yes, I’m teasing about that. But I genuinely do wonder what precisely they use at the FBI. Magnets? Stickers? Tape?

I’m not sure, but it seems to me you’re mocking the guy for doing that. Why is it funny? I think it’s good practice and do it at home and my office; it’s only one of the many small things you can do to feel safer.