A five minute ESPN segment with no mention of Johnny Football? Miracles do happen.

"Do you think Cleveland wants you?"

"Why is his head so flat? Flat. Flat. Flat. Flat. Flat. It doesn't sound like a word anymore."

don't jack my thread. and I'm sorry I thought from the awful tone of the "article' that it was tom

Way to go, man. My only goal is to save my hometown, so really great job wishing to get me fired.

Maybe. It looks more like "what's left in the fridge? What should I do with it? Do I need to stop at the store? Do I have anything in the freezer? I need to get the oil changed. I have to remember to ask about that rattle in the left front tire. I forgot to remind dick-head to shave and apply antiperspirant to his…

Replace "on that stage" with "in that life" and I think you have it.

FROM THE DESK OF TONY WYLLIE

Unmatched success? You mean teams like the Niners, Cowboys, Giants, Redskins, Patriots, and Steelers, that all have more championships than your team, can't match your success?

Penisfingers are the new hot dog legs.

Thankfully, @RealPeterson2for1 is behind bars now.

Honestly that jersey looks great. Matches his surliness.

Sounds like Guardians of the Galaxy, about a year ago.

I hate myself and want to blow dry.

He'll never stop looking like Grima Wormtongue.

I meant picking him up as a free agent, because unless you're the Buffalo Bills, trades for RBs don't happen. And you can ask the Bills how that worked out for them, especially with Marshawn.

Hey Seahawks, if you don't want to pay Marshawn Lynch, the Giants can unburden you of him.