Quiet, you!

“I don’t know WHY I leave this lying around!”

“Are the Magic that crafty?”

Trade the Browns another pick to get Osweiler back?

Is Toronto in Quebec now?

You seem mad. France is lovely.

If his last name didn’t so easily develop into the nickname “Gronk,” I’m pretty sure we’d call him Mongo.

There are always rimjob truthers.

“Nice form!”

Their defense sucks and Varlamov has regressed from being a girlfriend beating pretty good goaltender to a girlfriend beating bad goaltender...

All hail San Jose’s omnipotent security bot.

Wife: “How was your day, Joey?”

Ha. Bluecifer. When we first moved to Denver and had to go to the airport (we drove their the first time) I was all “What the fuck is that?” And then I read the whole story behind that statue and I was all “WHY the fuck is that?”

Irvin’s lawyer told TMZ that these latest allegations are completely false: “You expect the public to believe that Michael Irvin had drugs and *gave* them to another person rather than use them all himself?”

Cristiano’s son approves.

The internet works fast:

Wait to go out on a limb with that “He’s not Messi” take.

He doesn’t even seem to be a fan of all people named Trump.

Automated trucks.