My thirst for Oscar is so acute I’m almost ashamed. I would not be able to play it cool if I met him IRL. I’d have to walk away bc I respect that he is a real person and I wouldn’t want to creep him out by ugly crying or humping his leg. No pornstache, strange culinary habits, or viral infection can quench this…

And he wants to give it to us all so, so bad. Why are we fighting it?

He could endorse Trump and I'd still hit that.

JE how is that even a question??

I hate you and I love you for it.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

So an even douchier version of “Entourage”?

On the other hand...

How is this not considered a weapon of mass destruction??? I am just laying on my floor, rolling around and groaning from how overwhelming this is. I can’t. I CAN’T.

I’d really rather not.

Isn’t WASP more a mentality and personality type at this point than a reference to someone’s actual religion and background? That’s how I feel about the term jap as well.

it would be gold. “Things Martha doesn’t like”

I would watch an entire show of Martha just dissing stuff.

I have had this fear and it is LEGIT.

Okay, but the stark, piercing terror of realizing you’re stuck in a piece of clothing or you can’t get it on correctly is real. You haven’t felt shame until you have to plaintively caterwaul for help from the super cheerful fitting room attendant because you’re trapped in a dress. I’m sorry, Anthropologie sales girl.…

Poor, poor rapist/athlete. :-(

Is it possible to “motorboat” an ass???

Yas.

Not surprised he won ANTM, and I suspect he will dominate DWTS too. Not since Pearl on RuPaul’s Drag Race has there been a reality contestant that so many judges wanted to bang like a screen door.

Well NOW you tell me?? I have some real apologies to make at the kids’ funeral, then.