i-amtevya
Dr._Philtrum, RN
i-amtevya

That sounds amazing!

This might sound weird coming from an Internet stranger, but I think I love you and your narwhal tusk.

So, I signed up to help someone host thanksgiving, and I have been cooking all day. I have been cooking all damn day!

“Apropos of nothing, I used to call those “sweet gumballs.” Is that just a my-family thing?”

Ha! Exactly the same here.

Hands up... How many of us have either stuck some toy up our nose, or convinced a sibling to do so, as a child?

That would explain a lot.

When I was about 19, I worked as a hostess in a restaurant. The owner would say inappropriate things about how I looked all of the time. But the worst was when he would pull the neck of my shirt out and look at my tits. I was so young, and naive, and I needed the job, so I just blushed furiously and tried to avoid him

Thank you. I need these reminders of human decency from time to time.

I am drinking red wine and feeling morose.

This is so terribly sad to me. I’m not sure if I am just in a particularly morose mood, but I just can’t with this.

My step-mother started calling me “rump roast” when I hit puberty and developed hips and an ass. She also told me that I should be careful, because she could already see that I was going to be fat like my father. I was under 100 pounds at the time.

Yes! Hygiene hypothesis + helminths for the win!

Dear Malt Schlitzman,

Or, any mirror, really.

Also, it's like Trump doesn't own a floor length mirror.

“No it doesn’t. People don’t express feelings in the negative in English. That’s not how anyone talks.”

Andrew Zimmern>Tony Bourdain.

Bourdain is totally an elitist hipster chef. I met him once at a promotional event...tall as Frankenstien and too cool for wherever he happens to be at any given moment.