Dating advice: Keep yourself clean, keep your car clean. Keep minty gum in your car. You don’t necessarily always have to approach somebody. Sit next to them in class, joke about the teacher, ask them questions about what you’re working on in class as a way of introducing yourself. “Hey, did you do the HW last night?”

What were you a silver spoon fed kid? Mine was $200.

Remember a disaster called “Cash for Clunkers”? That’s where they are. Dead. Garbage. Recycled.

Nobody actually wants flying cars.

They’re apparently not Tesla Experts, nor are they Audi A6 Avant, Mercedes E-Class wagon, Land Rover Discovery, or Almost Every Extended Cab Pickup Ever Made Experts in terms of identifying unusual rear seating configurations. I wonder what they would think if they saw me loading my kids into the minivan’s third row…

To be fair, most jalops don’t buy anything new.

Not gonna lie, that was really edgy, bro dude.

How about this for an ad: “Are you a lifted bro-dozer sexist dude but want something alot [sic] more funner to drive? The new Toyota 86. For small-minded white assholes that like to take turns funly!”

Like this one.

Buick did that quite well. Comparing these two ads, I’d rather own the Buick.

That’s a way better idea. For example:

That’s why there is a Subaru version of this car.

Enhance X2!

Is the bottom part Jalopniks new motto?

Owned a 2002 CVPI for abour four years. I recall one evening where I stopped at a gas station for a friend, and turned off my headlights while waiting in the parking lot. Once we left, I never turned them back on. Drove by at least two cops before realizing it. To this day I wonder, “did they just not see me, or did…

Just 90k for an amphibious exploration vehicle?!

Dodge Passenger Challenged

Does anyone else feel the need to correct people who say “V4" (and no, they are NEVER talking about an old Saab)? I work with ZERO car people. A guy at work is looking to buy a car and one of them was an Altima “V4.” I had a mini freak-out and explained to him that it’s an inline four and then went into the difference…

What’s that you say?

Better than having a 1990s throwback with 1960s performance.