Just no.

Me too! My last job was in IT, though, so running around in my underwear holding a gun was admittedly not part of the job description. I just like to think outside the box.

Funny, I was fired for the way I held a gun while wearing panties at my last job.

Nevermind that countless women don’t get restraining orders because it only escalates abuse in many cases.

• teachers now required to stoke school boilers
  

Hundreds of lawyers defending girls for wearing too tight clothing? Talk about working Pro Bon-er, amirite?

The next village over is poopypantsplace so at least it's consistent.

brb, immediately opening a beach bar in Hawaii called the WeeWee-HooHa Hut.

“The vagina of a queen who is taking power”can pick up her sponge/birth control that the same artist created/left in Chicago.

Club Florida has everything; bingo, tire slashing, ice picks, old people getting territorial over chairs, and feuds.

he flight attendant told her that she could not give her one but then handed an unopened can of beer to a man seated nearby. Ahmad questioned the flight attendant.

I’d guess this is a myostatin-related genetic mutation, like that enormously muscle-bound whippet that was the internet’s favorite LOLWUT a while back.

But must they be worn on the feet? Wear them around your neck, like the burden they are.

“We need to examine the mentality of these applicants. If they are no longer virgins, if they are naughty, it means their mentality is not good.”

Well, if they want to keep the 1st Unicorn Calvary Unit in top shape, they need virgins to ride them.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Janelle Monae, Betty White, FKA twigs, Jesse Williams, Jessica Williams, and there's way more. I could go on and on.

"The only thing that can stop a bad rapist with a gun is a good rapist with a gun."

It's absolutely disgusting that victims of violent crime have to raise money to get their medical bills covered.

"Hey I wanna penetrate your girl!"