“The Orioles Probably Didn’t Even Notice They Were Eliminated From Playoff Contention”

Been aware of that since May, thanks. 

I have a niche audience. 

China has been LITERALLY (not the millennial literally but LITERALLY) stealing from us for decades. The whole trade war is force them to stop manipulating their currency and stop requiring a local partner to steal trade secrets fro... er...to do business in China.

Hey, uh, losing multiple billions isn’t the same as earning them.

This guy will never be able to joke with his friends about how he was mistaken for Markelle Fultz, because every time he does his girlfriend is going to be pissed she was mistaken for his mom. 

Land Rover Discovery. It was actually possible to use a lock picker to get into the car. However, once inside, the thieves weren’t able to start the car

Wait who is paying that much for insurance?!

If you think too hard about it, the entire human body is disgusting and bizarre. I say a hangup over feet is at least as weird as a fetish for feet.

Hey Kelley, how’s the dog?  HOW’S THE DOG, KELLEY?!?!

Hey, I guess they’re right. HOAs, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me!

They’ll fine the owner and sue him for not parking it in his garage. 

How’d you get a picture of Kershaw through Vin Scully’s eyes?

“Maybe, just maybe, if a person crashes their vehicle into a gym pool by accident and has to be rescued from it as it sinks to the bottom, don’t start your public, verbal reaction sentence with, “Although it was somewhat inconvenient to not be able to work out.”

“Told him he was bad at it” - Mrs. Hutchings.

A CPO is an extended warranty. Nothing more, nothing less.

I did this once, and 18 months later, boom! Dead battery. Never again.

A lot of economists are predicting an imminent recession, and that is why I do not believe that it will be coming very soon. This is not because the economists are incompetent (although some of them may be), but simply because they are predicting it, and people are preparing for it. These preparations will delay, or…

Thank god we don’t live in a better civilization.

unfortunately if we stopped using things from companies who do bad things is that we would be naked, homeless, starving, diseased, and bored

Not to excuse it, but I understand the frustration. Unemployment is so low it’s created a labor crisis. You can’t find people, let alone good people. Managers in all economic sectors must have sleepless nights because they can’t find staff.