Jack Dorsey literally attached his name to a post just the other day about why they wouldn’t ban Jones. The CEO of Twitter was literally carrying water for this dude. And then dude went after him anyways.

Hi, I’m Kate McClure. You might remember me from such grifts as “raising a bunch of money for a homeless dude only to pocket most of it for myself” and “using the heroin addiction he had before giving me his last $20 to defend myself.”

His Twitter feed is actually a pretty good source to prove obstruction of justice, so I say let him Tweet.

is permanently suspended sorta like jumbo shrimp?

THE ARISTOCRATS!

The Philly Special.

My grandfather chose the perfect time to leave this world; he saw the Eagles celebrating at Tom Brady’s expense, and he peaced before it could sink in and make Eagles fans act like even bigger assholes.

We won the fucking Super Bowl. I have never been that overjoyed in my life. This team sucks because I will never be able to feel that again, but will spend the rest of my days trying to.

No one says “cheesesteak hoagies”. Fuck Dallas. 

Philadelphians have the most obnoxious regional accent in the country and exclusively eat sandwiches from gas stations.

Native Philadelphian here - Geno’s is fucking trash. In terms of the late owner and in terms of the food.

I can only take solace in the fact that since the default state of a Philly fan is “miserable”, the joy of the Super Bowl will fade at about 9:30 tonight.

Look, even though the Eagles finally won it last year, don’t forget that the major pro sports team that has won the most championships in Philly is still the Oakland A’s.

Is just me or is the C-section one actually kind of sweet?

Here in DC I watched some football fans cheering for the Eagles in the playoffs because then the NFC East would be the only conference where all four teams have won at least one Super Bowl. Screw that. There is no worse conference in all of professional sports than the NFC East, to to bottom. Don’t come at me about…

As always, Fuck McNabb with a Chunky Soup Can.

I think this is your masterpiece, Drew. If you don’t win a Pulitzer for this, I don’t know what will.

Chris’s email has to go down in the WYTS hall of fame!

EEEEEEAAAAAAAGGGGLLLLLLEEEEESSSS!

OHHHH YEAH! I’ve had an insufferability boner waiting for this.