The .490 is the Browns lifetime win percentage, which obviously isn’t their 2018 win probability. Even including the “good” (or, “less bad”) Browns teams of the past, they’re still a horrible team!

Welcome back, WYTS - I don’t give two rabid dog shits about the NFL anymore, but this is a welcome return in these summer doldrums...

Nicholas:

Why do people always make this comment every single year for multiple bad franchises? Do you not want to read the dysfunction? I do. Your article pitch sounds boring.

Baker Mayfield 100% thinks he’s allowed to say the n-word and it’s going to cause a huge scandal at some point in the next three years. 

We hold these truths to be self-evident.

If you go to public school, have a TV, ACCESS TO FUCKIN TWITTER, then you really have no excuse to be a racist piece of shit.

Sent from my Cricket Wireless smartphone.

Is it entirely satisfying if there’s a 16-year-old out there right now who will be a pro athlete in a decade, and who refrains from tweeting a gay joke because he considers the possibility that it might embarrass him once he gets famous? No. You’d prefer the kid instead internalize reasons not to tweet the gay joke…

So not only do I want the Eagles to stomp the Cowboys in to the ground this year (as I always do) but I want the whole team to take a knee in Jerruh’s World in front of God, Trump, Jerruh, Troy Aikman’s concussion-addled brain, and everyone in a Sunday afternoon game on Fox. Fuck the Cowboys. Fuck Jerry Jones. Fuck…

Reminder: Jerry Jones is the same guy who threatened to sue the league for daring to suspend his star running back for assaulting a woman.

Cowboys fan. I’ve sided with the Eagles now twice this year. This timeline is the worst.

Given my experience in these situations, this went one of to ways:

You are an objectively awful person.

There absolutely has to be a cell of one of these characters getting hit by a bus.

Pepe Le Pew is a rapist.

Of course Trump leaked that out. He has to have maximum time to lie and attack the claim and smear it in public to try to taint the nationwide jury pool.

Papa “John” Schnatter

This guy puts the douche in fiduciary. 

Randall Monroe is one of the smartest, most insightful people of our time.