(a.) That Valentino that Dianna Agron wore for her wedding is lovely, but (b.) there is no amount of cash-money in the world that could make me spend one hour with the banjoist from Mumford and Sons, let alone marry the man. Dear jeebus, that wedding must have had a lot of mason jars.

Oh, no. That’s fucking great. On multiple levels.

do you know what a taco is?

But, if they were sandwiches, wouldn’t that make them Tortas?

He’s always got that looks that’s like “I’m enjoying this in the exact same way that you are.”

Those hands

I’m writing in Tom Bergeron because I think he deserves better than Dancing with the Stars.

“I moved on Iraq like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she already had a president. Look, just bomb. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a Secretary or State, they let you do it. You can do anything.”

Yeah, I’d never heard this before and I’m fucking furious on her behalf. What the fuck do you know about shit, hoss? Get the fuck outta here. She’s a bitch for understanding diplomacy? She’s a bitch for not casting spells over other governments and just compelling them to obey us?

Trump disparaging a former female Secretary of State?!?! I’m so shocked my cock just blew off, turned into a penis drill missle and burrowed itself deeply into my brain, killing me.

I never hadn’t any luck with antidepressants (they had so little effect on me that when I dropped Effexor cold turkey against the advice of my doctor, I didn’t experience any withdrawal symptoms), but I know lots of people for whom they’ve been literal life savers. I didn’t have strong feelings for Siegfried before,…

I feel the same way about my Lexapro. Couldn’t imagine stopping it because I remember what it felt like before I started taking it. There are no side effects for me, and I feel fine (except for situational depression).

The amount that John Boyega loves Star Wars and John Cho is salty about Star Trek gives me so much life.

It’s like you think you know people and then that guy devolves into out and out misogyny making you realize that he was always a misogynist, he just hid it better.

Get it.

I used to have a list of songs that start with drum solos that could easily be someone falling over a set of drums. All I can remember from it now is Dyer Maker, but there were many others.

They’re both assholes, so if this was a romantic comedy, they should be hooking up anytime now!

I know Banks has some baggage herself, but this totally sounds like Russell Crowe. There’s an “Altercations” section on his Wikipedia page.

“I think Josh is a spineless emotional leech who uses women to validate himself.”