Let’s split the difference and agree that the flight attendant is an idiot without insulting people based on their professions.

That looks like a 3rd, less fun ball.

Cod Dammit

All more years! All more years!

Barack’s pictures with children and his genuine delight interacting with them is one of the 1,000 things I will miss about him.

It’s Tiffany. She has to eat under the table.

What will I do if I don’t make you horny

If they come in evenly and you pluck them, you could pretend it’s a tiara.

I try to remember that, but it’s SO HARD, because I find yanking those white little bastards out of my scalp strangely soothing and satisfying.

Found my first one in high school. Don’t pluck it — not because 3 more will grow back or whatever, but because when that one grows back it will be shorter than the rest of your hair and no matter how you wear your hair or how you try to slick it down it will stick straight up by itself like a little white antenna…

One of the worst things about this election is learning exactly what percentage of Americans are total monsters.

the boy trumps dont raise the babies, so they have no concept of the effort involved. To them, it’s all crayons followed by handoffs to the wimmin when someone needs a cuddle, a change, or intellectual stimulation.

Maybe if you can’t handle not harassing women in the workforce today, then you don’t belong in the workforce.

Cue reports from all the women who have been harassed as kindergarten teachers. This guy is a fucking toolbag.

I put her with Kathleen Turner, Helen Mirren, and Emma Thompson in the Amazing Women You Would Have a Great Time Drinking With But Do Not *Ever* Want to Piss Off group. I should probably add Meryl Streep to that group, too.

It was goddamn glorious, wasn’t it?

I can just hear all the attorneys in the firm yelling “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSNAAAAAP!!” at this letter.

His Christmas card this year is literally just going to be a screen shot of that paragraph.

Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.