I’m available.

I’ve decided that deadspin and (most) of the commenters are just a bunch of fucking losers. Your whole existence seems to be “let’s just make fun of people.”

I’m still trying to get to second base with any of the social media dates I’ve made. It’s like this great nihilistic universe-dating online.

He’s not leading in most polls. Calm yourself and actually read the polls.

There’s nothing surprising about Jimmy Fallon.

That photo might have consequences down the road...who knows. But maybe it’ll also be a reminder to him of how he doesn’t want to end up. It might keep him alive. Hopefully he gets the proper support he needs in his life, which already seems like a very difficult life...even if he isn’t truly aware of it yet.

Shaming usually doesn’t work, you’re right. But in this case, a child’s life is in danger. Not just in the moment that the picture was taken, but he risks his entire life being ruined. Sometimes it takes people seeing how truly awful they are before they change. This might be one of those times for those parents. …

Actually, a little bit of shame can go a long way. Maybe this is what gets these parents to straighten the fuck up. You think people with addictions have no responsibility at all? Fuck you. And fuck all of you on here that post such nonsense. THis photo might have saved that boy’s life.

Are you fucking kidding with this? This might quite possibly be the most ignorant bullshit jezebel has ever published. I don’t even know how you came up with this nonsense. Fucking faux liberal moron.

Someone will tell you all about the momentum of the biker, etc...which is bullshit because momentum can be slowed down with these things called brakes and this thing called wind drag...but the real reason the bicyclist doesn’t just get in line is because bicyclist are by far the worst human beings ever to exist. They…

Bicyclists are just the worst.

I’m just looking for a date. We can emoji our entire conversations if you’d prefer. Ladies!!!

I agree, but there’s no stopping that train. He can’t be shamed or mocked or called out enough...it just won’t matter. He shouldn’t win, but it’s a long way until November.

I mean...you don’t have to read deadspin to know that Rio wasn’t the smartest of choices for the Olympics. This sports event needs to just go ahead and die.

Obviously it’s whoever the Rock beats up in Furious 8, as he says we’ll be able to tell on film. I won’t watch it anyway, as Paul Walker was my only reason to watch any of the films. He was awesome.

I have achieved more glory than most. I’d shadowbox anyone on deadspin to prove it!

Everything makes you look like a tool to those that sit on the sidelines watching the rest of us achieve glory.

He’s not a good writer. I never understood his popularity. He’d write 250 word columns and act like he’d just written the declaration of independence. His thoughts were rarely intellectual enough to warrant a mild curiosity as to why I continued to read his shitty articles for a period of a few years. Turns out I was…

I wouldn’t have known it was from Hitler. I just like that they stick it to Whitlock. Nothing else matters! (James Hetfield approved)

I began following deadspin after I saw that video of you guys trolling Stephen A. Smith at the NBA draft (I think it was the draft, not sure now). My favorite deadspin stuff is still when you guys troll SAS, Whitlock, or that fuckstickboy that was on The Sports Reporters. I don’t remember his name even though I know…