Quick question: how many teams could Kapernick sign today and be the Week 1 starter but the team won’t do it because it’ll make people sad and say and do dumb shit on social media?

Secretary of Homeland Security Ditka is going to be pissed about this unwanted distraction.

Knight had “used offensive profanity” during his speech and “groped five women”

I get that this is terrible, and that I too am probably terrible, but the bit about him calling a deaf man uncoachable when the man didn’t turn around absolutely killed me. If I had to imagine a ridiculous Bobby Knight moment, I don’t think I could even come up with something like that.

Always remember that whenever a city makes a terrible deal to pay for a sports arena, there’s a good chance that the deal will only get worse as time goes on.

Didn’t foresee myself agreeing with Chris Kluwe tonight, but here I am.

I’m sure this hertz. Maybe another enterprise can help pick them up?

And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

“Hello, Floyd, I am an idiot. Can I make my $90 directly payable to the IRS?”

i was pretty sure the answer was human blood.

Seems like someone has been chewing OxyContin for the refreshing burst of flavor.

He’s got to be pissed as hell that the proposed title for his autobiography, Pills n’ Thrills n’ Bellyaches, was already taken by a Happy Mondays album.

When pressed, Fisher says “has 7-9 good stories he could tell about Vince. But he is working hard every day to make them more competitive.”

As a Knicks fan I’m just kinda confused and sitting around with a lot of lighter fluid

From Blazers Edge:

“Police are investigating when and how the items entered the South American country.”

Everyone repeat after me:

Maybe there can be a little blue button that takes it out of limp mode

They say you can learn a lot about people by who their enemies are. Between Erdogan and the NCAA, I’m thinking Kanter’s a pretty good egg.

God damn, he must have finished the whole thing.