And not one dick or mustache drawn on her

The reason they want 2024, not 2028: Californoa voters and the state’s constitution.

It’s his first note-worthy drive in years!

John Daly calls that a Thursday.

Does this count as another major?

Dont overlook the Knic....oh fuck it.

First year being a Browns fan, I take it?

so you’ll basically have zero legs left

Either the Colts are getting even for the Richardson trade, or the Browns are finally paying Grigson back for doing them that favor.

Don’t buzz the tower ‘till after the ceremony, dum dum.

Judge Mingledorf moonlights with the Ministry of Magic.

You live in the Atlantic Ocean?

Could be worse. He could be stuck ruining people’s cars for MTV or something.

I think Burger King has a more successful launch record than North Korea.

You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - the most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” - but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian…

—Chad, honey? Maybe you shouldn’t watch the draft if it makes you feel sad.

Did you make this joke while drinking fine wine and reading the New Yorker?

And people laughed at me for not dropping him from my fantasy team.

Well now maybe he can move on in peace with his life . . . sentence.

I believe the true name for "bat bong" is actually Louisville Chugger