Probably all in one piece now, to boot!

Let’s be fair, Patrick. If you’re behind the wheel of an 80's Buick Regal, it’s always the weekend. And since you won’t be in any hurry, you might as well do 50 mph in the fast lane of your local interstate with your left blinker on in perpetuity.

It depends on what you consider a burnout!

Tesla Model S, I can’t even find the damn thing!

Nailed it.

IF best = happiest

D.B. Pooper

I would argue it depreciates even quicker once you eat it.

You don’t think it depreciates faster if you do eat it? Ever try selling a pre-eaten pizza?

And thinking of cars as simply “rapidly depreciating assets” is also dumb. In exchange for the depreciation, you get very valuable transportation.

Financing in and of itself is not a gimmick, or dumb.

I know that, but hitting something a few hundred feet away? With a shotgun?

Nothing good comes from having a police officer behind you. Nothing.

I frequently pass police officers. If they’re that fucking timid, then good luck keeping up with me.

“absolute badass in the courtroom.”

Good. Seriously fuck this guy and everybody like him. They actually slow traffic down because everybody needs to brake to let them in.

BEHOLD...the cycle of life, this jeep returning to its natural habitat...the shop.

I just hope the tow truck had an Escort down those hills, could’ve been a treacherous Expedition.

It turned out to be quite the Excursion for him.

I had that same thought the other day driving next to a 97ish Prelude. What a clean, simple, timeless design.