I like the part where the Yeti ends up killing an entire traffic of Everest climbers waiting to reach the summit in the end.

The best thing to do when facing an angry Cub is to lie down and play dead.

The fucking was IN THE ROOM THE ENTIRE TIME!

Oh my god this is actually real! I would have bet money you just wrote this as an elaborate but excellent joke. Holy shit.

This is just a minor technicality.

“I’ve kicked a lot of balls over the years. I’m not reinventing the wheel.”

...and the voices in your head are actually demons as well. Check your home for Jim Irsay immediately.

“Demons” is an anagram for “on meds” which is an anagram for “Jim Irsay spilled his pill bottle into Vinatieri’s Gatorade”. Or at least that’s what the voices in my head are telling me.

They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I can’t kick a field goal

I am my dad, and it’s the worst thing. (I am a lady, but I basically got all the male genes in the family sans the Y chromosome, down to how short my dad is compared to the average guy. Ugh.) When we argue, it’s like two goats smashing heads in utter futility. People stay the fuck away from that.

My wife likes to bitch about the shit her mother does to her in one breath and then do the same shit to me in the next. Fun!

Harvey Danger!

Bravo.

My wife and I use cloth diapers regularly (although not exclusively), and it really isn’t that bad.

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Later, another JC player complained of chest pains and was sent to the hospital as well.

I can’t tell who’s actually injured and who’s flopping in that video.

That’s one good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain. Unlike lightning, which hurts. 

I assume D+ is going to offer a two-tiered subscription system. A standard plan that includes every season of the Simpsons, and a premium plan that only includes seasons 1-9.