I’m holding out for a 4th camera.

My sign said "boo-urns"

He’s no Blake Bortles.

well, according to to this story, you take a picture.  

You stare for exactly 3.5 seconds, and slowly walk away.

I was disqualified from the Academic Decathlon because too much chest hair was popping out of my polo collar.

The answer is obvious: “we” when a team is winning, “they” when they stink!

You’d be wrong. I was working on ratios on a test one time and showed too much wrist...

No shit. I showed plenty of neck and nobody denied me of my prize for winning the North Shore Conference varsity math meet. I still have Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions sitting on my bookshelf to prove it.

“Intergluteal Cleft” would be a FANTASTIC name for a rock band.

As a Texans fan, I am not even mad that we lost. Frustrated, sure. But not angry. It was a damn good game, one that they almost pulled off for a win. But, Brees being Drew freaking Brees showed everyone why the Saints still hold on to a 40 year old at QB and what he can still do at 40.

I have nothing for this but sadness.

I kept waiting for a discussion about the fan clubs making new members roll around on top of an ant hill until they start hallucinating from the stings.

I felt like a David Attenborough narration would have helped the reader on this one.

That last minute of the game was the most fun I’ve had watching an NFL game in years

Back then he showed up in a Redcoats jersey.

And then... there was the other game.

“That’s like re-segregating the country, why would we want that? Besides of course the reasons Tucker Carlson and I lay out every night.”