I’ve made it 33 years on this earth, and for the last 30 of them nobody has ever made me feel guilty for loving Bloodsport until now. Screw you AV Club.

You gotta switch it up!

Please, for the love of god, tell me you told him that the only way is if he gets a monitor that rotates.

Uhhh, if someone is on FaceTime in the gym locker room you call fucking security. That’s not remotely acceptable.

Cat should be named Jeffrey Lemeowski if he hates the fucking eagles

If I came home and found my ex-gfs sitting around drinking MY tea and my wife and daughter are missing, I’d probably first ask them what gives them the right to just take MY TEA.  You couldn’t ask first?  You knew that was the tea that I bought for myself for when I get stressed out, but you just went ahead and took…

Re: FaceTime in public. Yeah, a locker room is right out. In fact, nobody should have their phones out, period, in the locker room. However, I go on work trips sometimes, and sometimes those involve social events, but I always like to talk to my kid before she goes to sleep if I’m traveling, which sometimes…

Re. Calories:

Got flagged in highschool for “Fuck-Yeahing” a first down. When I found out small school college refs didn’t give a shit, it was my go to.

Here comes there inevitable GIF thread...

I wonder why Drew hates the “A-Rod” nicknaming convention?

Take my star, Dad.

Sure, I had to explain to my dad what the “dope fiend lean” was as we watched a heroin addict fall over in the parking lot while the completely indifferent event staff did nothing about it.

That’s Deadspin-level punny. +1

They’ll drop the dog whistles soon enough. If it’s ok for the president* to refer to sovereign nations as shitholes, it’s perfectly ok for Dundalk knuckledraggers to openly use the n-word when talking about Jackson.

“Ravens’ fans current favorite son is a Floridian who obstructed a fucking murder.”

This post could easily be renamed Why Your Suburb Sucks: Dundalk

Still better than Jack in the Box’s K-PAX promotion.

He has to do 3 years at Florida State first. 

“McDonald’s trusts you won’t be taking advantage of its free coffee promotion”