Thanks fermentioning that. 

I admit, this story got a rise out of me

I’m old, and about 40 years ago, the local paper one Sunday had DQ coupons, including a 5-cent regular cone, and 10-cent dipped cone coupons.

We took the same route from NW Ohio, and I always knew we were in the South when all the Bob Evans’ turned into Waffle Houses, all the Giant Eagles turned into Piggly Wigglys, and all the Big Boys became Shoney’s.

I can’t see or hear about Waffle House without thinking of the Bill Hicks bit where a Waffle House waitress asks him, “Whatchu readin’ for?”

President and First Lady?

Often more than one.

“Finn Wolfhard” is a much more clever porn name than “Danny Sexbang.”

How can they be sure it’s 60,000 sheep? Wouldn’t everyone who tried to tally them up just fall asleep?

Sorry, I helped clean up the bourbon spill before doing the math.

Soft boiled eggs are the bee’s knees. Dribble a few drops of soy sauce into the yolk before each bite, and it will add a salty umami kick that takes the eggs to another level, imo.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good mom with a taco.

Nonsense.  I could go for a quesadilla milkshake right now.

Not true - the taco was the first to dial 911.

Yes, the tactical taco tackle technique.

This is why I always conceal-carry a lengua taco.

This mom is great.

Cilantro tasting like soap is the shittiest X-Men mutant power out there.

She’ll make the money back by stealing Mount Rushmore.

“Straight out of a telenovela, right?!”