Fair point. I've just fallen under his spell. He's like magical dancing sprite.

Who the fuck hates on Bruno Mars? Dude is like a little dancing ray of sunshine. I want to keep him in my pocket for days when I'm sad. I can open it and he'll be in there all dancing and smiling and singing like yea yea YEA!

Sorry but fuck that noise. I love getting candles, bath products, lotions, socks and Starbucks gift cards.

Oh damn. I actually think of Bath and Body as the "nice" end of the scented bath stuff spectrum. I suppose I am out-of-touch and not middle class enough. :(

I wish every single pundit/politician on earth lived in fear of their mom calling them publicly on their shit.

"it's mom..." I can only hope to embarrass my kids, on that level, at some point in their lives.

I'd rather give a daily blowjob if it meant I didn't have to keep a tidy home.

Damn, if I sucked dick everyday my wife would probably leave me.

God I'm just so glad no one has ever filmed me dancing.

After reading the headline, I was convienced Peak Palin was one of her children. I'm glad it's not but this is still troubling.

I run a non-profit's Membership Department. Every time I buy stamps I'm itching to get fun, cute ones, but always end up with the dull flags or Liberty Bells. Every once and a while there's an innocuous flower to liven things up. Heaven forbid we use a stamp with something frivolous on it.

Your problem is that you need to hire more wizards, then the stamps will be perfect.

More nerd stamps. When the post office came out with the Marvel/DC comics stamps I bought a TON of them. And yes, I used them on Christmas cards with Batman on them because
1: Batman and Christmas together is hilarious and
2: fuck it, I still love sending things in the mail.

I am praying, you hear me, praying to Darwin for Sarah Palin to drive herself into bankruptcy, like the rock stars and rap artists with a brief successful period who get hooked on the big expenses and then can't sustain their lifestyle. I want her to show up to Kroger with her EBT card in 5 years. I want her to become…

Plus he is the only character more annoying that Piper on OITNB.

When my kid asks me where babies come from, I'm just going to say "When a man and a woman love each other very much, the woman puts her hand on her stomach. Then a stranger takes a picture and publishes it. That's how a woman gets pregnant."

They all seem to have Demi's small features, but on Bruce's extremely large head which is an unfortunate combination.

That shit is Tackée Harry.

I find it endearing that Dodai's limit is Duck Dynasty. I mean, 6 Degrees of Lindsay's Love Life can be discussed but DD cannot.