I only play football when I've been drinking. 

It’s sort of weird that none of them seem willing to admit that it’s reasonable to think the Lakers offer sucked. I mean, we all just watched all those guys play without LeBron for a month and they were not that great.

they chose to use that time to be incredibly petty instead

Sometimes on Deadspin, article/ad synergy goes really wrong, but sometimes, they get it really spot on.

Get the papers

I’m gonna go get the papers

“But if the worst-case scenario does happen and Davis just walks away for nothing in 18 months, the Pelicans won’t have won anything.”

CP3 and Harden were traded to the Rockets, Dwight Howard was the only free agent to sign with them.

ThanksForLastNightMrJeter@hotmail.com

Jeez, sounds like he’s not gonna Virk there anymore

ESPN figured it out when they saw the leaks came from “Adnanymous@NotMyVirkEmail.com”

A coach who actually knew what the fuck he was doing out there would have pulled him at halftime for Tua Tagovailoa. It was really a no-brainer.

The lead singer from Aerosmith??

I think when we talk about how much we hate the Patriots, it’s with the awareness that 90% of people associated with the NFL are fairly loathsome in their own right.

I’m guessing 100% Donald has seen Jared naked. But only by accident and only while trying to peep on Ivanka...So it’s not weird. 

Here’s a challenge: describe Steppenwolf, the villain from ‘Justice League’, going only on what is provided in the movie. Who is he, what’s his motivation, what are the features of his personality? Can anyone do more than a few words? I know he want the Mother Boxes, but why? This was, I think, the biggest problem…

Tom Brady can’t beat this guy when it counts.

Obviously I can’t give you a star while stuck on 69.

Let’s grasp at some straws: