What do you figure that signing will be worth to the Lakers franchise over the life of LeBron’s deal, just in terms of merchandizing and ticket sales and ad sales on their broadcasts and (local and national) fan enthusiasm and shit? A billion dollars? More?

They’re also jarringly minor-seeming reasons to parachute out of what, up until last night anyway, sure as hell seemed like the most glamorous and desirable front-office job in all of American sports.

My doctor said I was fat and getting old, and those two things don’t go together. So I cleaned up my diet and found that if you eat all the leafy greens they tell you to, you’ll shit between four and 15 times a day. And it’s not just me. Vegans apparently only talk about being vegan and defecate.

Craig James killed five hookers. I’d never heard that Craig James killed five hookers.

This is what the UFC has always been. It’s never been anything else. Unfortunately for Conor, and possibly his family, no one explained kayfabe to Khabib. So when Conor, and possibly his family, wind up decapitated in an alley it’ll give us all a chance to reflect and put things in perspective (read: We don’t really…

The Joker doesn’t have an origin story, or rather, he has all of the origin stories because he makes them up as his mood changes. If Warner Bros. is trying to write this in stone, then they can go fuck themselves. If there’s a trilogy of Joaquin Phoenix telling different Joker origin stories then I’m all in.…

Why do teams have to have owners? Would a sport be better if the league owned all the teams and managed the whole thing like a company?

Football players are dogs. They’re big and they’re nasty, but when master says “heel” 99 times out of 100 they do. Their baseline is knowing their place.

#GroinInjury

He probably had his season tickets revoked. If Cousins was able to hear him and point him out to security, definitively, then dude wasn’t in the cheap seats.

White people are naming their boys last names now. My daughter’s in 6th grade. She’s had classes with an Anderson, a Davis, a Wilson, and a Miller.

My wife is a teacher, so a bunch of her friends are teachers. They don’t yell at kids, because they actually keep up with the latest research and know that shit doesn’t work.

Turkey vultures ain’t no joke. That is(was) a cat. Don’t live in Florida. 

It’s strange that all of your “relationships” and the “nature of competition” examples are professional coaches bullying showing tough love to amateur players.

The only reason this happened is because Aaron Henry isn’t a big NBA prospect, so Izzo can bully him. If Izzo was actually able to recruit high level players he’d coach differently(The two best players Izzo’s sent to the NBA are Z-Bo and Draymond).

Flairing up.

They’re not ax murderers; they’re bullies. Anytime one of these tough love leaders of men makes the jump to the NBA, all this bullshit stops. Suddenly, they have self-control.

Yes, I think I will spend the extra $15 for insurance.

Fuck Dana White is an evergreen comment.