Fun Facts:

#Mustard

Steph’s 60 feet from the basket, and my first reaction was JESUS! GET A HAND IN HIS FACE! My second reaction was surprise that it banked it off the backboard.

That kid looks like he’s about 10 years old. They should probably have him cut more weight so he can compete in a lower weight class and #DOMINATE. A partial college scholarship is worth more than a healthy endocrine system -- unless you’re just weak.

I thought about him being long off the tee, but most courses only have three par 5s, and putting is still putting. The Man of Steel is on the green in one. Then he misses left, misses right, leaves it short. Deadshot’s talking shit to him, and Kal-El throws his putter into space.

Superman would struggle like everyone else at golf. I want to see a whole miniseries of Supes losing his shit on the golf course and melting his clubs with his heat vision.

Dude can’t set foot in an NFL locker room ever again. The level of shit his teammates are going to throw at him will be infinite. 

It’s off-season sports speculation. It really couldn’t matter less.

It’s not a problem. It’s their opportunity to be openly racist to a large black man with almost zero chance of getting punched in the face.

White people were afraid of Trayvon Martin, but dude’s going to bow up on Russell Westbrook?

This isn’t about job interviews. It’s not really about the kids. It’s about the egomaniac parents. They want their kids to go to prestigious colleges so that they can say their kids go to prestigious colleges.

Borat will always have a place in my heart. I’ve never seen the movie, but I was forced to play a Charades type game at a couples’ thing a few years ago — boys vs girls. I wanted zero part of it. I wanted to go to bed or sit on the porch and get drunker. Anyhoo, each team got to pick the movie for the other team to…

Charley? Charley! Come here. I want to show you something.

It’s been mentioned, but “cofre” is a treasure chest not pecs. But it got me thinking: maybe that’s what AB means. He just got a brand new $30 million in guaranteed money, and given his size, I’d imagine he ranks in the 40s on any NFL team in the “who benches the most” department. So maybe Señor Cofre works. 

It’s not ignorance.  Not knowing tobacco causes all kinds of cancers in 1819 was ignorance. Anti-vaxxers are presented with a bunch of information from really smart, really hardworking people who’ve dedicated their lives to combating childhood diseases, and the anti-vaxxers consciously reject that information. That’s…

The only thing I’m listening to this guy about is who makes the best graham crackers.

Today: Oooooh! The Ws look a little shaky

I’m 48. Both knees are good. I’m probably better than you and Todd Gurley (and Bo Jackson too). Except I’m not blocking, I’m not catching the ball if it’s thrown to me, and I’m damn sure not taking a hand off in a tackle football game.

Wait a minute! Just because I tried to have all of you traded, and you fired, Luke, you’re not going to give 100% in pursuit of my personal glory?

He can’t control the fights themselves, it’d be too obvious.