Have a berry. You can cut it up for your cereal.

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

RAPE JOKE TRIGGER WARNING

When I was in high school, some local, road-side hotel decided to convert their restaurant to a Chinese buffet. They called the high school to see if there were any “Chinese girls who would like a job.” Damn it. I was the only Chinese girl in the school, and actually, yeah, I wanted another job because college was…

I really don’t see that as passive aggressive. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.” Ok. You’re sorry - legit apology. That’s normal. Also, you didn’t hear the person. That’s a statement of fact and lets them know that it was unintentional. That’s cool and a normal thing to say and makes sense. “You don’t have to yell”…

Let me tell you about what life is like as a fat sexworker. My job involves sharing photos of myself as a strong, sexy, sexual woman, in varying degrees of undress. It involves me setting a figure - a not inexpensive one, either - on what I feel access to my body is worth.

This, for a myriad of reasons, makes some men…

I will never understand why people hate on other people's happiness. I guess that's why I'm not a troll.

In my mom’s old age, she has become more and more self-centered, though she was a really good mom to me as a kid. I can be with her for an hour and she will never ask anything about me, but will prattle on and on about the lettuce in her sandwich. It makes me feel oddly invisible.

One year from now Matt Heflin remains dumb, uneducated, and unemployed. Support from family and friends has run out. Rent is due, the fridge is empty. Facing homelessness and starvation, Heflin’s last option is to join the military he so hated. The recruiter laughs when he steps through the door.

The last one reminds me of a problem I often encounter. I know how to deal with stupid. I know how to deal with mean. I have no idea what the hell to do with stupid AND mean... There is just no fix for that.

Dating is such a crapshoot. Recently, I thought I met a wonderful guy who said he was a feminist, liked independent women, and intelligent (geeky) women. We hit it off amazingly well, both mentally and physically, and then he just ghosted on me. No explanation, NOTHING. I’d guess that he is seeing someone else, but…

Look, good christian children should only have to do exercises inspired by the bible. Like dodge ball. Which is just stoning without rocks.

Will there be 38 divorces in 38 countries?

This shit doesn't change precisely because we assume it's the mandatory price to pay for a husband/boyfriend and because we think there's no way to demand better.

When I was a kid I had very weird fears, which I now think may have had to do with minor key music. Remember the Mr. Yuck stickers from the seventies? There used to be commercials on TV for them—basically PSAs reminding kids not to touch/eat/drink anything with one of those stickers on it. The little jingle was in…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

I'm recently divorced and living alone for the first time ever. It's AMAZING. My ex husband was super critical and I am experiencing freedom like I've never known.

i pictured all of these meals as happening at Fawlty Towers.

Um...you missed the point.

40-odd comments and not a single, "Oh stewardess, I speak Jive." joke?