She is ADORABLE.

See, you know the sumbitch is going to get off with an Insanity plea, because friggin Target???
Now, if he’d showed up and pointed his gat at them and said “We’re going to the Bulls/Mud Hens game, let’s go!!”, well then he’d be looking at some serious time.

White Lady Reporter: So how can we end racism in America??
Brother Paul Mooney: Simple, my dear. Kill all the white people.

Now it’s time to ascertain exactly what the chances are of the Senator from California letting me be her boyfriend.
I’m just going to spend the rest of the week watching this over and over again

I don’t have much money, but I’d pay it all if I could have Sofia Verarga chase me around the apartment screaming.

This is weird. I live in Taiwan, and ever since I started working in office jobs here, that would be more than 20 years, they’ve ALWAYS given women a day (or two? not sure) paid days per month for their periods.
Since it’s universally applied, it had never seemed to create any prejudicial attitudes on the part of…

Guy looks like a sentient (or not) rambutan.

How long do we have to wait before Unca Joe and Mr.Obama say fuck it and hit the highway in Joe’s sweeetass Vette, going town to town solving crimes and rescuing single Moms from losing their farms to the bank??

How long do we have to wait before Unca Joe and Mr.Obama say fuck it and hit the highway in Joe’s sweeetass Vette, going town to town solving crimes and rescuing single Moms from losing their farms to the bank??

White Reporter Lady: so is it possible to actually eliminate racism?
Brother Paul Mooney: Of course it is, dear.
White Reporter Lady: How?
Brother Paul Mooney: Kill all the white people.

Holy cow she’s hideous.

I get it! Fake Boss to celebrate a Fake POTUS! Genius!

They weren’t “strippers” per se. The original news report’s designation of “pole dancers” is more accurate. If that matters to anyone.

Hey, are you my daughter??

Oh lordy, yes. I was watching Cheeto Jesus Tweet us just that much closer to World War III over the weekend, and I was sort of feeling like doing a Lieutenant Dan at 2016

You can make Mary Brown’s fries!!! Get your hot fries, layer the stuffing over the top and cover in hot gravy. Palm Breeze and Coke on the side isn’t obligatory, but highly recommended. Now yer livin’ girlie!

Google says there are 35 frigging bathrooms in the White House (more than a little disturbing how swiftly it provided Autocomplete on the query, but...). I reckon President Obama and his people are going to have to pull extra shifts (and more than a couple runs to the Taco Bell drive-thru at 40 Massachusetts Ave NE)…

We did this book in High School and learned all about the BC interments.

What if he’s all smooth down there, like GI Joe? Sorry, I mean the real GI Joe, not them little angry guys from the 80s.