Depends if I got in on the IPO or not...

Set the temperature to 98. Stay in perpetuity, or until you have to wee if you’re a decent human.

I day-drank, (day-drunk, drinkeded?) the past two Saturdays and I gotta tell yah, not as fun as it used to be. I’m 30, so my body starts to shut down after about 3 hours of being out, but I was guilt tripped into staying out longer both times. Here’s the worst part about being day-drunk. No one outside of that bar…

Caine grew up poor. He gives every piece of shit movie he does for a paycheck the same 100% effort that he gives to a blockbuster. He doesn’t belong on your list.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT MICHAEL CAINE

I always found that the easiest way to get away with this technique in papers and class discussions was to take a negative stance on the material, since people are going to stop asking. Plus you can contrast it negatively with something you have read. If there’s life after death, I have a lot of political…

I’ve got a better idea. Save $300. Get a Coleman gas lantern for light. Cook on a campfire. Leave the phone in the car.

I’ve got a better idea. Save $300. Get a Coleman gas lantern for light. Cook on a campfire. Leave the phone in the…

He’s going to make intergenerational wealth and not have to fight mma anymore. Seems a good deal

This is a joke, but it is the end goal of “autonomous” vehicles. You will hop in your driverless pod; punch in your destination, and be informed by the computer that travel to that city has been restricted until next week due to traffic volume or population density, or current CO2 levels. Daily use tolls and carbon…

Easy now, calm down, Lindsay, you are fine. One beer a day? Lordy, start worrying when its 12. Beer aint drinking, unless its breakfast.

ghosts

You can’t IMBIBE weed. The word you’re looking for is “consuming”, guy who gets paid to word things!

Thanks!

Yes, but while the music is good, it’s pretty damn good, right?

Kids honestly got beaten up in my primary school if they said they preferred Blur to Oasis (I’m from Yorkshire). We even had a school assembly about band-related bullying, which I seem to remember ending with all of us drowning out the mithered head with a toneless yet bouyant rendition of Wonderwall.

Get me drunk enough and I will do you a woozy acapella rendition of Tender! I’ve just realised I don’t even know that many Oasis songs, although I do love The Importance of Being Idle.

You’d never expect that those 2 brothers wrote a song called “Don’t Look Back in Anger”

Wondering if Lebron is regretting killing all of the Cavs’ salary cap space/making a big deal out of Tristan Thompson last off-season when a 250-pound sack of potatoes (signed for the veteran’s minimum) would have sufficed.

Y'all lawn abusing newbies are not doing this right. I'll be at the golf course at 7:00 Sunday morning with my golfing partner and the son in law that plays golf. We get there early to beat the heat and to get back home about 11:30 or so when the steaks will be just finishing up on the grill. The rest of the day…

Originally this video ran an even five minutes, but Gallagher edited out the 23 seconds that depicted him returning home to discover that his girlfriend had moved out.