A dealership would have been less hassle.

Perfect for dropping your kids off at soccer practice on the way to the track where you booked an hour of time.  

Future SAT question:

Neutral: I’m going to sit in on my porch and give out fun-size candy to random children. I hope this goes well because when I handed out bleu cheese-stuffed/prosciutto-wrapped figs last year, the kids seemed confused and disappointed.  

We as a society are pretty used to being promised things that don’t currently exist, probably can’t be made, and couldn’t afford if it did come to be true.

Stretched out, gussied up Camry.  Was a favorite choice of mine at the rental car stall when I could get one.  

Panini Press and sixteen cup holders included in the “Super-size” option package.  

America, forever stuck eating at the kids’ table.  

So, um . . . that’s the paint color combo you want to showcase for the launch, Toyota?  

Kids can be cruel. 

My 1984 Corolla SR5 had 70hp (on a good day)

I spent 10 minutes googling and watching that interview and it’s among the most gratifying 10 minutes of my COVID-era life.

I’m mean, he can put together a stage show with just two turntables and a microphone.

Back when I traveled a bunch for business I had a standard line to put off Chatty Cathys . . . “Hi, I’m Huja and I sell insurance.  Are you prepared for all that life can throw your way?”  

Years ago I was flying home to San Francisco from Texas. The woman who was sitting next to me said, “Wait ‘till they get a load of me and my big cowboy hat.” To which I replied, “This is California. Unless you are running down the street naked with your hair on fire you’ll be lost in the crowd.” There was very little…

We wiped silverware to prevent spots - or the servers were expected to do that.  

“Al’s pillow talk,” is what the CIA blasted over loudspeakers at Manuel Noriega to get him to surrender.

This is precisely the kind of music that made proper ladies clutch their pearls and gave rise to Tipper Gore.  (That sentence actually sounds quite dirty).  

“I don’t always buy a car made by a defunct brand but when I do, I prefer Saab.” 

Look at those red knobs on the range . . . (awed silence)