Presented without farther comment

I never peed on anyone's lawn, but almost all of these points resonated with me. I think Mark is pretty wise to have realized these things before he was 30.

Are you 89 years old?

WATCH!!

Slice the (green) grape in half, but not all the way. Leave the two halves connected by a tiny piece of the outer skin. Place the grape cut side down on a plate and nuke it on high. You will get a lovely, bright flame. It is best to do this with the lights off. I've never tried a purple grape.

This is an interesting place to celebrate signing a contract extension.

Nothing motivates Thomas more than the thought of giving someone a freebie.

So wait, is being ethered like being sonned, or not?

I'm confused. Did you just plagiarize this article in the comments? Weird. Or was this just a Cliffs notes version?

So Dickie V's point is that if you're a Hall of Famer, you can run out in the middle of the floor and cuss the refs with impunity? Thank God Bilas didn't let Vitale get away with that horseshit.

I'm not Kerry.

God, how embarrassing. Waking up in a Timberwolves jersey.

"Coach, I'm actually thinking of staying for my sophomore year."

You're doing it wrong, Tim. You're supposed to put aloe on the burn, and not vice versa.

I've written, and deleted prior to submission, a ton of comments on this excellent remembrance. I'll just say this. I've know so many people who have thrown away their talent and their lives because of drugs and alcohol. What I've learned is that there is no rational response when this happens. I mostly just shake my…

I feel like every labor story in the other three sports just serves to point out how strong the MLBPA is. It's stunning.

Geez, what a thug. He just said he goes into the strip club and doesn't even tip.

"Everyone's talking about him, including Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, for some reason"

Oh, sorry, I forgot to include the link. We always do a bare-bones nuts-and-bolts version of each week's Foodspin over on my personal Kinja, for people who don't have patience for the digressions and flights of fancy. Here:

I once got caught looking for Five Guys.