You roll up on a town like this in an RPG, shhiiiit...you better belive there’ll be at least two good shops and a smith to visit.

Your feet as the crumple zones are the LEAST of your worries driving this thing. Other safety concerns that one should consider before driving a 917:

Took me a second to get the level 2 / Goku joke. Well done.

Yeah that’s not a good look from Chris there.

It’s a reward for reading the entire article.

Indeed. Cars are more expensive than ever. For some context the average new car price is around $34,000 these days. (A base Mustang GT starts at $35,355 without any decent options, but good luck finding one.) But as you note, it could be argued buyers are getting more than ever before—more power, more safety, more…

In all seriousness, thank fucking god someone can finally just enjoy a fun MLS game around here. 

Rounds are on me!

In the US we do not punish people for the “sins of their fathers”.

If you read the headline carefully, it says “Mike Pence’s Family Gas Station Business”. It does not say “Mike Pence’s Gas Station Business”.

This is part of the reason I think that something like Kinja, despite its awful interface and many other issues, ultimately works. I try to post daily and be as positive (and funny and insightful) as possible knowing that hopefully one day I will be pulled out of the greys. On the other hand I post here knowing…

Okay.

No Redeyes No Peace

Maybe, but Tesla has achieved true automotive douche-baggery in record time with easily the highest percentage of shitbag owners of any marque. I honestly thought Charger/300 and Altima/Maxima driver’s achievements would never be surpassed,but here we are.  The dude at work who rolls a 100D also has some stupid Road…

You’re going to get a great Christmas gift from the folks over at Kinja Deals.

I’m pretty sure a St. Louis jury would find the Rams liable of the Kennedy assassination, the Challenger disaster, and the Pulse nightclub shooting.

Welcome to Jalopnik where everything you just said is wrong! Acceptable modifications to your statement include:

Jason, you tread a dark path.

Hard plastic is easy to clean with bleach after your kid vomits all over the interior of your new car so it’s a feature here.