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First you complain that I don’t have a good relationship with you mother. Then you complain that I do. What the hell do you want from me?

Gone from day 1 to 2018 discounted.

Clearly wrong on the red light and I’m not so happy about the speed with which he blew the school zone.

Doctor: I’m sorry to inform you of this, but you have lung cancer.

So, let me guess....now he’s gonna appoint a bunch of diplomats with pro-Russian ties/interests?

Sun: Ice Vulpix or GTFO.

Her age progression photos will be interesting.

Kellyanne Conway - Secretary of Babysitting.

I like to picture a physical struggle between Trump and Kelly Conway for his damn phone. You know that’s her talking in the second tweet.

Four years of 24/7 damage control, Kelly -you SO deserve it.

Our old, indoor cat got out for about 4 hours once. Most stressful 4 hours of my life. There may or may not have been tears. I’ve had a dislike of Barbosa since his Suns days, but wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

It’s the Kelly Blew Book price!

Popovich: How have you been enjoying the carrot cakes?

I felt the same mix of angst, frustration and shame I feel watching a horse race where my can’t-miss bet is languishing in last place.

Sounds like the LAPD to me.

The perps were apprehended, queso closed.

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

Everyone knows you should never disturb a Mitsubishi cocoon... How dare they do this before it could undergo its final Evolution