She’s been unwell since Casey Johnson died and she just seems to be getting worse. Someone needs to check in on her child.

Can somebody describe how Meghan trainor talks so I don’t have to watch a video of Meghan trainor? Tia.

If she’s fat, then I’m Mike Huckabee.

Guys, I wish he had paid me to write it. If he had, I wouldn't have worn a $15 target sweater on the news.

Incorrect: Celine is a biggest Celine fan.

I’ve often thought that a biopic about a person who is still alive that fictionally imagines exactly how they would die would be brilliant. Imagine how much more interesting and memorable “W.” would have been if it had shown him years later, on his ranch, sitting on the toilet after eating too many nachos, straining…

it’s like a really horrible version of Russian Roulette.

Can it be activated via the Clapper?

The great thing about kids growing fast is that they all do. I bought a few nice outfits a year for my son but the rest was mostly second-hand but good quality. After a few months, you pass it on to someone else. I would rather my kid wear used clothing than clothing made by kids.

Don’t turn your nose at this, although these stores do have a slight mothball smell—thrift stores!

“Uh, yeah, my name is...Billy. Uh, Billy......Football.”

I thought this was pretty cool, even though I don’t agree with his policies or politics and generally consider Barack Hussein Obama to be a total fucking ass-clown, and a failure.

Please, Obama and Trudeau are just posing. A real gearhead world leader will now be shown.

I just came ... out my mouth. I barfed.

I just came a little bit.

Find the fucking panda

I'm 31 and unmarried but I've been slowly accumulating Le Creuset and All Clad pans because I figure even if I don't get married I deserve the good pans.

Funny you should say that. “A fly on the wall” happens to be Trump’s image consultant.

Are you OK?