I’ve bopped around on other threads trying to address this, because I’ve had this struggle most of my life! I’m not 100% comfortable with acquaintance-intimacy now, by any means, but I can tell you what did help a lot. I had to just gently put away “I’m naturally like this” and “it’s how I was raised” — both TOTALLY…

God, yes. I got called “scary” or “intimidating” all the time when I was more reserved in public, and I also am extremely unintimidating physically and rarely even raise my voice. I thought it was because I could be a little sarcastic at times, and people thought of that as cutting or something, but it eventually…

Okay, but here’s the thing. People *correctly perceive* that your attitude is “If you want to chat and casually get to know me, I see that as a shallow interaction and judge you not worth my time.” And if that’s your standard, then rock on and keep doing you or whatever. But you can hardly be surprised if *most*…

God, yes. It’s a constant confusing game, but what helped me was to practice answering questions with one more piece of information than they asked for. If they ask, “How was your weekend?” don’t just say, “Great, it was just great.” Also say, “I obviously had to cancel my picnic because of the thunderstorm, but you…

Sure, I get that! People are often just the fucking worst, and 99.9% of us have had experiences of trusting someone we never should’ve trusted. It’s hard to bounce back from that — harder for some people than for others.

But the thing is, you don’t earn *their* trust if you appear to be withholding even your most basic thoughts and feelings from them. I’m a naturally reserved/shy/slightly socially anxious person myself, and it took me forever to get this. I thought in terms of “well, if I decide I like them, I’ll open up and offer…

Really, serious people actually made fun of the arts option? Because...the arts are a terrible way to think deeply about ethics and to approach one’s own and others’ life experiences in a meaningful and empathetic way? I guess if you don’t take a multiple choice exam about it at the end of the semester, you haven’t…

Nothing to say about Joe Banner, but your username is rad.

Unpopular Opinion: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie is a vastly superior album to Jagged Little Pill.

People...explain soup to you? Can you tell us more about that?

Once again, Shatner does not know how to distinguish between himself and the character he played. Of course, I suspect that’s a function of Shatner not understanding that things exist in the world and yet still aren’t entirely about Shatner.

The problem with that argument is that *not* everyone has that experience — I didn’t — and more and more, that experience will be unusual for queer kids. Plenty of people grow up correctly understanding that homophobia is other people’s problem, and that *they* are not broken/wrong/cursed, etc; I know some queer folks…

I hear ya, and I tend to agree. I understand the political necessity of hammering home “it’s not a choice,” but I personally find it gross and demeaning and I wish it weren’t necessary. It feels to me like an odious sort of backhanded apology for existing — of course I don’t *want* to love my partner and be happy with…

Jesus Christ. Thanks, Major Feminist Website, for carving out a space for us all to unload on the whorebags and crazy bitches who put their hands on our men. Catfighting over boys and who he liked better is an excellent look for grown-ass women and not at all an inferno of misogynist self-sabotage.

Feminism!

Wait, I’m not sure I understand your story. A woman who had always been friends with your husband just moved back to town, tried to reconnect as friends with your husband, and your husband yelled at her because — I guess, because he’s married now and that means she doesn’t get to ask about hanging out?

Huh, yeah, I was introduced to it by my partner’s grandfather, a Marine veteran. You know military life really is shit when people look back on Shit on a Shingle as a high point. (Kidding; I actually love it, though it’s a little salty.)

As soon as I saw this headline, I rushed to the comments to find out how we would manage to turn “Gwyneth stays friendly with her ex-husband to create some post-divorce normalcy for their children” into more reasons to hate and resent her. Seems like a challenge, but if anyone is up to it, I know it’s us!

I’ve come to seriously hate having one. People act so put-upon if you don’t answer their every call the moment they want to call you. Motherfucker, I am doing something right now. WHEN I have some free time, I will CALL YOU BACK.

I bet that’s entirely the reason. So insightful of you. It’s not *racism,* per se, just a serious commitment to lessening the amount of mariachi music they’re tangentially exposed to.