I’ll take “double amputee” for $1000, Alex.

man, pretty fucking great few weeks to be a Boston sports fan. Bruins miss the playoffs, Celts bumped, Sox suck, Pats deflated, and the Boston Sports Guy gets his nuts cut off. love it.

Once people realize that football players are humans like the rest of us, maybe we’ll stop holding them to these lofty standards. Sure, domestic abuse is horrible and the men and women who abuse others should totally be punished, and those that continue to do so should see a harsher punishment. But after they serve…

I agreed with the first part, then I read the second sentence. It completely captures the attitude that makes everybody despise Boston sports fans. Giving you a +1 for more exposure.

Come on, now. If the Browns got a Sunday Night game Deadspin would do a write-up tonight about it.

How could you miss OKC? A team that has been without their top players for much of the season. KD is done. Ibaka is probably done. And if Westbrook were human, he’d be done.

"So... you never looked in the box?"

It's all cute and adorable until you sign the papers and find out that she actually comes with the house.

Probably because none of the owners have enough of a stake in a tech company that could be paid hundreds of millions to install and operate these cameras.

Oh, right.

THIS is your comment? This. Did you fucking hurt yourself patting yourself on the back after this one? Did you call your mother and say "Mommy I made a funny joke today...LOLz...let's just say it involves CAMERAS...and....(wait for it)...BILL BELICHICK"

I mean yeah, but at least Dayton earned their way into the actual field. If anyone has a deal with the goddamn devil, it's UCLA. How many dolphin blowjobs did it take for Steve Alford and Co. to not only get in the field, but avoid the play-in game? How many humpback whale blowjobs did Alford have to give the ref…

Harpoon's got a pretty big brewery in Vermont, and a lot of people associate New England beer with Vermont, so it makes sense.

Drew Magary: [walks the fuck right into the side of that car because some asshole won't get out of his way]

It's called:

What a fundamental life lesson for the girls: it's not whether you win or lose, or whether you've tried your best. It's whether a faceless bureaucrat approves of your paperwork.

The person who dug up this rule is vying for a spot on the NCAA legislative committee.

That's why you use a dome you idiots.

After every game where Lebron has to guard the other team's best wing, he should watch this clip, look himself in the mirror and yell "YOU ARE NOT A GM" 100 times.

More cringeworthy: Oladipo's singing or Anthony Anderson's out-loud attempts at addition?

Before I deleted my account I would always ask women the same thing: "So do you want to hear a ridiculous pick-up line or should we skip the awkward stuff."