Please don’t use a mixer! Especially don’t use a food processor. You will end up with glue. Secret to perfect mashed potatoes is a ricer. No, everyone does not have one of these but if you are so fucked up that your highest ambition is to bring the potatoes to family dinner, then spend sixteen bucks and do it right.…

No, I wasn’t. I rambled a little bit but I was trying to say that for a middle aged white guy this would be a little like asking a woman if she’s pregnant. I may be 99% certain but I’m not about to risk that 1%. But it’s okay, it doesn’t matter to me, and it matters a lot to the person in question so I will always try…

Jam. Also I really like Up and Up jeans in spire of the absurd brand name.

Because capitalism always eventually eats its seed corn.

Ha, easy for you to say. The other day at an electronics store, Amy helped me find what I was looking for. I could not tell whether Amy was a cross dressing dude, transgendered, or a really masculine lady. Wasn’t about to ask :) Of course, the intended pronoun was obvious, she was a she. That’s all I needed to know.

It makes me feel horrible that, even though you’re obviously a very strong person, the weight of society’s judgement of women’s looks is so crushing that you feel this is necessary. I understand it, I know it’s real, and I wish I could change it for you.

I’ll be in my bunk.

I have a hard time sorting this one out too. I can imagine that while the number of guys who have the balls to ask her out might be small, it’s not non-existent. Is it an access thing? I’d ask her out in a heartbeat, but the chances of me ever getting near her are miniscule, especially in light of my resemblance to…

Truer words were never spoken...uh, drawn.

Seems pretty obvious to me. The first two are the same thing. Women have more deal breakers because they are in greater demand, i.e. they are a great catch. Supply and demand. Second, most men are three pump chumps once it gets down to the finish line, and any sex is good sex for men because it basically all turns out…

Well, in all fairness, you’d be amazed how many people think there’s some magic way to start a fire in a wet place with wet wood in the rain. The magic is in finding the dry ingredients. Also, if you go into any situation where you might possibly need to light a fire (which implies for the purposes of surviving a…

Went to the dentist the first time in ten years, he poked around in there and said, “yep, you’re fine.” He scheduled me to come in in a year, but I’ll probably stretch it.

I find myself wondering whether the decision to pay your debts shouldn’t be based on the effect it has on your credit score so much as feeling compelled to honor your commitments.

Usually Jujubees and Neco wafers.

I thought, “bongwater in the bed!” RETCH

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Holy crap I’m 110.

I started to read this and thought, “why haven’t I seen a Your Five Favorite T-shirts article on Lifehacker.” Then I thought maybe I have because I’m old and my memory is shit. Then I read the rest of your article and realized that it probably wouldn’t matter. You are the polar opposite of me in all T-shirt related…

Just an observation: It took me until the middle of the article to understand what you were actually taking exception to in Cohen’s column. It sounded to me like he was in favor of tipping, and it sounded like you weren’t. After getting to the end I understand that the issue here is giving servers a living wage, which…