Someone once said to me, in a stressful situation where the expectation to perform highly was great, said he wished he was stupid. Like, so stupid you don’t even know how stupid you are. So stupid you’re just the happiest person alive because there’s literally nothing on your mind. It sounds nice. I’m just the right…

Sort of reminiscent of his Andy Dwyer days... I liked him better back then!

I’ve always felt that I’d be a happier person and have an easier go of it in life if I’d been born just a little bit dumber. Thanks for the affirmation, Pratt!

It is the year of the former exotic dancer. I’d be surprised if he didn’t.

“Khloé is very torn on what to do with her and Tristan.”

Or .... you pick your friend/ex as a sperm donor then fall back in love and live happily ever after?

I had to skim them several times to find it, which was very annoying! Literally just use the mason jar lid as a cookie cutter. Sigh. It’s like, a clickbait recipe! They tried to reel us in with a hipster appeal!

It doesn’t matter to us who the father is, but it kind of does matter to the baby.

I imagine Heigl’s biscuits would be dry, flavorless and tough to swallow , just like her blog posts.

Katy is that hot dumb girl from high school who’s insecure about being perceived as dumb, who really, really, really wants you to know she reads. She posts a bunch of photos on social media like this one with captions like “Love reading!!!”, “Literally my favorite thing in the world!”

Taylor swift just tweeted that she has never had a cavity ever in her life, and included a picture of herself with Jeff Bezos reading her the Washington post.

I understand that it doesn’t MATTER who the father of Mindy Kaling’s baby is but it also WOULDN’T SURPRISE ME if it were B.J.

The president of the USA is being successfully trolled by a porn star. 2018 yo.

Methinks they’re confusing being teased with being bullied. Everyone is teased at some point or another.

Can you imagine living like Taylor Swift? Yes I know, so much money, so many nice things... but fuck... I don’t know if I trade it for all the stalkers she has. She has had some truly frightening run-ins... Knife, masks, black rope... People give her shit for the security she has with her all the time(like the pics of…

Reminds of the episode of Friends when Joey’s trying to get a girl’s number and she suddenly walks away.

On daddy duty one day, I was driving a carload of kids to something and while taking a short cut through a seedy section of town, passed a large billboard for a strip club that featured a smiling blonde. One of the kids shouted out “that’s my mom” and although it did look like her, I told him that it was just someone…

“Person sees numerous red flags, proceeds anyway, gets scammed” just doesn’t have the same ring to it I guess.

Better to be the “after” pic for clitoral cysts than the “before”.

I see the Brad Pitt/Neri Oxman thing more like him wanting to copy his pal Clooney and be with a non-celebrity highly educated woman, and less like him looking for an Angelina double.