I usually cut mine into a can of Redbull.

Chopping? Er, very clumsily slicing. Was that the first time Lucy Liu's ever actually even held a kitchen knife?

I absolutely knew when Peggy, with a noticeably thicker body, bought the ham sandwich and danish that she was pregnant. The only surprise for me was whether or not she actually understood herself that she was pregnant, or was in denial about it, or what.

Surely the murder method was inspired by that of Empress Elisabeth of Austria, who was stabbed through her tight corset in such a way that she was not aware that she had been stabbed, and did not immediately expire.

Lesbian roommates. Watch Sleeping Beauty again—those three fairies are totally lesbians.

A-fucking-men. So much of this season was like someone had punched the "reset" button for all the characters so that they could replay a rehashed variation of precisely the same plots they've struggled through in previous seasons, rather than actually picking up where the last season left off and building upon it in…

Well, it's better than how Thomas has become the looming dark idea of a manipulative criminal mastermind, without actually doing one goddamned thing but attempt to extract gossip from a lady's maid.

Yeah, the animation of Teddy flopping around in front of the fridge was exquisite.

Alton Brown is like a fun uncle. Christopher Kimball is like the rich asshole uncle who fucked your dad out of a job opportunity 20 years ago and now charges your family rent and manual labor to let you live in one of the outbuildings on his farm, but lords it over you like he's doing you a big favor even letting you…

Guy Fieri—the only American male still sporting frosted tips since 1997, seemingly unaware that look went out of style with Sugar Ray and Smash Mouth.

Man, I know Christopher Kimball was watching Good Eats—when I was regularly recording and watching Good Eats and America's Test Kitchen, ATK would have pretty blatantly ripped off half the new stuff Alton did in his preceding season.

My god, does she relate every occurrence, every memory in her life to the specific food she was eating when it happened?

He sells bits of his soul with those things that he hawks