I know, right? I’ve found three real-world escape rooms this week. I’m a little offended that the author thins so little of us. 

The clickbait headline lies. None of these sounded remotely interesting to me, and I tend to play mostly indies.

I’m pretty sure a real-world escape room is as close to a real-world escape room as I’ll find.

Partly true. An extra 10 degrees won’t hurt the silicon chips, provided they remain within their assigned thermal envelope (and to be honest, these days a CPU will downclock itself to nothing before allowing itself to be thermally damaged).

Pretty sure it’s a copy machine. Hence the quip about “paper for your achievements”.

Police make mistakes all. of. the. time.  And they never have to pay for them.  Ever.  

And always remember that cops aren’t responsible for anything they do:

Farmer’s son goes to prison and cannot help plow the field before planting. Son writes to the father not to disturb the lower-forty because that’s where he hid the loot. Cops turn over the entire field searching and find nothing.

Nick, I can give you a firsthand example of why that won’t always work. Police had a reason to knock on my door that I had no power to prevent; they found a dead infant a few streets over in the bushes.

Unless you’re in Honolulu, where you can hide a body in a bathtub, cover it with cement, put coffee beans on it to mask the smell, then have the police come in your house, bring you in for questioning, and release you because they didn’t find the body until the next day.

This guy is clearly a cop.

If you let the cops in, you’re basically giving them consent to search. There’s flavors and variations in laws. But one trick police will do is they will say, “Mind if I come in to talk?” and they’ll lean forward and angle their body as though it’s a foregone conclusion that you will let them in. That’s a sure sign…

Whatever you do, do not say “I hope you brought a warrant and a jackhammer, because the new concrete in my basement is reinforced and you ain’t getting those bodies out of there with just a sledgehammer.”

It’s because Gamers™ all look exactly like this:

I’m not even sure Kinja can handle 1,000 slides in a single slideshow, but boy I bet you guys are gonna try it.

Did you just win some office bet for who could make the longest slideshow? 

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to click through a 100-slide slideshow.

A 100 point slideshow? You’re fucking with us, right? Like the 3rd slide is just “lol, kidding?” I wouldn’t know because I’m not starting a 100 point slideshow.

Middle of the road comes out on top.. nothing too edgy or genre heavy to put off those who aren’t into those things.

if this is truly the top 100 most played in Spotify I’m torn; it’s mostly fuckawful trash, but at least there’s no bro-country in there so...?