My wife has so many pairs of yoga pants, I don’t think she ever wears a pair twice. I’ve had coworkers get suckered into MLMs to sell them. Every half-assed celebrity seems to have her own brand. At some point the world will decided we’re good on stretchy workout pants. Can that moment be right now?

I mean, you’re not wrong but maybe dial back the anger before you stroke out.

Canadian football is a better game played by inferior* athletes.

Clearly, he’s the biggest asshole in his slow-pitch softball league.

I still think Rob was perfectly fine with that question/quip. Marinelli was a dog shit head coach with a losing team. He had no business making a nepotism hire and deserved to be called out for it.

The tragedy of so many vanity presidential candidates with no chance of winning or no policy agenda to advance (John Delaney, Michael Bennett, Marianne Williamson, etc.) is that someone like Inslee was denied the oxygen to elevate the discussion about climate change.

Relax, kid. You dad named you Eric because he loves you. Really. 

My So-Called President is a terrible reboot.

I’m kind of with Larry Bird on this one. The mural makes him look like he’s serving life and affiliated with the Aryan Nations. I would be annoyed by that as well.

The good Lord willing, things will work out. 

I feel great shame now.

Isn’t the solution to adjust the rules of the game? Banning the shift seems like an easy start: No more than 4 defensive players can be behind the pitchers mound and on the same side of the field or something like that.

Cool story, bro. 

Donald Trump is such a cuck. 

His name is Whett Thudd. Modern scouts, with their algorithms and advanced metrics, will tell you he’s too small and too slow to make an NFL roster. But what those bean-counters can’t see on their spreadsheets, what old-school football men know in their hearts, is that this former Appalachian State standout linebacker…

Is it wrong if I nakedly walk behind a gym locker room Facetime and do an Elvis hip-shake so my dong twirls around? I feel like by engaging in a Facetime with someone in a place where people are naked have implicitly consented to seeing dong dances. I’ll take your answer off the air.

AB is basically every Harley chud who claims its safer to ride a motorcycle without a helmet because it forces they have to be more careful.

Otherwise known as “The 12 Additional Words.”

Hey, if pedantic legalism is the hill you want to die on here...God bless. 

The thing about Iowa is they never send their very best people. Steve King is a monster. But it’s not just Steve King. It’s not. It’s not, ok. There are many many, so many other very bad people from Iowa.